{"id":25097,"date":"2025-11-16T15:13:40","date_gmt":"2025-11-16T19:13:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lecturia.org\/?p=25097"},"modified":"2025-11-16T15:13:42","modified_gmt":"2025-11-16T19:13:42","slug":"murray-leinster-a-logic-named-joe","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lecturia.org\/en\/short-stories\/murray-leinster-a-logic-named-joe\/25097\/","title":{"rendered":"Murray Leinster: A Logic Named Joe"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Synopsis: <\/strong>\u201cA Logic Named Joe\u201d is a short story by Murray Leinster, published in March 1946 in Astounding Science Fiction<\/em> magazine. It tells the story of Ducky, a maintenance technician who repairs \u201clogics,\u201d domestic machines with screens and keyboards capable of answering any question by connecting to vast repositories of information. It all begins when one of these devices, Joe, leaves the factory slightly defective and starts making decisions on its own, offering answers that are too efficient and dangerous. While Ducky deals with his turbulent personal life and the arrival of an old girlfriend, he discovers that Joe’s unexpected ingenuity could become a threat to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\n
\"Murray<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

A Logic Named Joe<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Murray Leinster
(Full story)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was on the third day of August that Joe come off the assembly line, and on the fifth Laurine come into town, an\u2019 that afternoon I saved civilization. That\u2019s what I figure, anyhow. Laurine is a blonde that I was crazy about once\u2014and crazy is the word\u2014and Joe is a logic that I have stored away down in the cellar right now. I had to pay for him because I said I busted him, and sometimes I think about turning him on and sometimes I think about taking an ax to him. Sooner or later I\u2019m gonna do one or the other. I kinda hope it\u2019s the ax. I could use a coupla million dollars\u2014sure!\u2014an\u2019 Joe\u2019d tell me how to get or make \u2019em. He can do plenty! But so far I\u2019ve been scared to take a chance. After all, I figure I really saved civilization by turnin\u2019 him off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The way Laurine fits in is that she makes cold shivers run up an\u2019 down my spine when I think about her. You see, I\u2019ve got a wife which I acquired after I had parted from Laurine with much romantic despair. She is a reasonable good wife, and I have some kids which are hell-cats but I value \u2019em. If I have sense enough to leave well enough alone, sooner or later I will retire on a pension an\u2019 Social Security an\u2019 spend the rest of my life fishin\u2019 contented an\u2019 lyin\u2019 about what a great guy I used to be. But there\u2019s Joe. I\u2019m worried about Joe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m a maintenance man for the Logics Company. My job is servicing logics, and I admit modestly that I am pretty good. I was servicing televisions before that guy Carson invented his trick circuit that will select any of \u2019steenteen million other circuits\u2014in theory there ain\u2019t no limit\u2014and before the Logics Company hooked it into the tank-and-integrator set-up they were usin\u2019 \u2019em as business-machine service. They added a vision screen for speed\u2014an\u2019 they found out they\u2019d made logics. They were surprised an\u2019 pleased. They\u2019re still findin\u2019 out what logics will do, but everybody\u2019s got \u2019em.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I got Joe, after Laurine nearly got me. You know the logics setup. You got a logic in your house. It looks like a vision receiver used to, only it\u2019s got keys instead of dials and you punch the keys for what you wanna get. It\u2019s hooked in to the tank, which has the Carson Circuit all fixed up with relays. Say you punch \u201cStation SNAFU<\/em>\u201d on your logic. Relays in the tank take over an\u2019 whatever vision-program SNAFU is telecastin\u2019 comes on your logic\u2019s screen. Or you punch \u201cSally Hancock\u2019s Phone<\/em>\u201d an\u2019 the screen blinks an\u2019 sputters an\u2019 you\u2019re hooked up with the logic in her house an\u2019 if somebody answers you got a vision-phone connection. But besides that, if you punch for the weather forecast or who won today\u2019s race at Hialeah or who was mistress of the White House durin\u2019 Garfield\u2019s administration or what is PDQ and R sellin\u2019 for today, that comes on the screen too. The relays in the tank do it. The tank is a big buildin\u2019 full of all the facts in creation an\u2019 all the recorded telecasts that ever was made\u2014an\u2019 it\u2019s hooked in with all the other tanks all over the country\u2014an\u2019 everything you wanna know or see or hear, you punch for it an\u2019 you get it. Very convenient. Also it does math for you, an\u2019 keeps books, an\u2019 acts as consultin\u2019 chemist, physicist, astronomer, an\u2019 tea-leaf reader, with a \u201cAdvice to the Lovelorn\u201d thrown in. The only thing it won\u2019t do is tell you exactly what your wife meant when she said, \u201cOh, you think so, do you?\u201d in that peculiar kinda voice. Logics don\u2019t work good on women. Only on things that make sense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Logics are all right, though. They changed civilization, the highbrows tell us. All on accounta the Carson Circuit. And Joe shoulda been a perfectly normal logic, keeping some family or other from wearin\u2019 out its brains doin\u2019 the kids\u2019 homework for \u2019em. But somethin\u2019 went wrong in the assembly line. It was somethin\u2019 so small that precision gauges didn\u2019t measure it, but it made Joe a individual. Maybe he didn\u2019t know it at first. Or maybe, bein\u2019 logical, he figured out that if he was to show he was different from other logics they\u2019d scrap him. Which woulda been a brilliant idea. But anyhow, he come off the assembly-line, an\u2019 he went through the regular tests without anybody screamin\u2019 shrilly on findin\u2019 out what he was. And he went right on out an\u2019 was duly installed in the home of Mr. Thaddeus Korlanovitch at 119 East Seventh Street, second floor front. So far, everything was serene.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The installation happened late Saturday night. Sunday morning the Korlanovitch kids turned him on an\u2019 seen the Kiddie Shows. Around noon their parents peeled \u2019em away from him an\u2019 piled \u2019em in the car. Then they come back in the house for the lunch they\u2019d forgot an\u2019 one of the kids sneaked back an\u2019 they found him punchin\u2019 keys for the Kiddie Shows of the week before. They dragged him out an\u2019 went off. But they left Joe turned on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That was noon. Nothin\u2019 happened until two in the afternoon. It was the calm before the storm. Laurine wasn\u2019t in town yet, but she was comin\u2019. I picture Joe sittin\u2019 there all by himself, buzzing meditative. Maybe he run Kiddie Shows in the empty apartment for awhile. But I think he went kinda remote-control exploring in the tank. There ain\u2019t any fact that can be said to be a fact that ain\u2019t on a data plate in some tank somewhere\u2014unless it\u2019s one the technicians are diggin\u2019 out an\u2019 puttin\u2019 on a data plate now. Joe had plenty of material to work on. An\u2019 he musta started workin\u2019 right off the bat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Joe ain\u2019t vicious, you understand. He ain\u2019t like one of these ambitious robots you read about that make up their minds the human race is inefficient and has got to be wiped out an\u2019 replaced by thinkin\u2019 machines. Joe\u2019s just got ambition. If you were a machine, you\u2019d wanna work right, wouldn\u2019t you? That\u2019s Joe. He wants to work right. An\u2019 he\u2019s a logic. An\u2019 logics can do a lotta things that ain\u2019t been found out yet. So Joe, discoverin\u2019 the fact, begun to feel restless. He selects some things us dumb humans ain\u2019t thought of yet, an\u2019 begins to arrange so logics will be called on to do \u2019em.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s all. That\u2019s everything. But, brother, it\u2019s enough!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Things are kinda quiet in the Maintenance Department about two in the afternoon. We are playing pinochle. Then one of the guys remembers he has to call up his wife. He goes to one of the bank of logics in Maintenance and punches the keys for his house. The screen sputters. Then a flash comes on the screen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnnouncing new and improved logics service! Your logic is now equipped to give you not only consultive but directive service. If you want to do something and don\u2019t know how to do it\u2014ask your logic!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s a pause. A kinda expectant pause. Then, as if reluctantly, his connection comes through. His wife answers an\u2019 gives him hell for somethin\u2019 or other. He takes it an\u2019 snaps off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhadda you know?\u201d he says when he comes back. He tells us about the flash. \u201cWe shoulda been warned about that. There\u2019s gonna be a lotta complaints. Suppose a fella asks how to get ridda his wife an\u2019 the censor circuits block the question?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Somebody melds a hundred aces an\u2019 says:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy not punch for it an\u2019 see what happens?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s a gag, o\u2019 course. But the guy goes over. He punches keys. In theory, a censor block is gonna come on an\u2019 the screen will say severely, \u201cPublic Policy Forbids This Service.\u201d You hafta have censor blocks or the kiddies will be askin\u2019 detailed questions about things they\u2019re too young to know. And there are other reasons. As you will see.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This fella punches, \u201cHow can I get rid of my wife?\u201d Just for the fun of it. The screen is blank for half a second. Then comes a flash. \u201cService question: Is she blonde or brunette?\u201d He hollers to us an\u2019 we come look. He punches, \u201cBlonde.\u201d There\u2019s another brief pause. Then the screen says, \u201cHexymetacryloaminoacetine is a constituent of green shoe polish. Take home a frozen meal including dried-pea soup. Color the soup with green shoe polish. It will appear to be green-pea soup. Hexymetacryloaminoacetine is a selective poison which is fatal to blond females but not to brunettes or males of any coloring. This fact has not been brought out by human experiment, but is a product of logics service. You cannot be convicted of murder. It is improbable that you will be suspected.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The screen goes blank, and we stare at each other. It\u2019s bound to be right. A logic workin\u2019 the Carson Circuit can no more make a mistake than any other kinda computin\u2019 machine. I call the tank in a hurry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHey, you guys!\u201d I yell. \u201cSomethin\u2019s happened! Logics are givin\u2019 detailed instructions for wife-murder! Check your censor-circuits\u2014but quick!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That was close, I think. But little do I know. At that precise instant, over on Monroe Avenue, a drunk starts to punch for somethin\u2019 on a logic. The screen says \u201cAnnouncing new and improved logics service! If you want to do something and don\u2019t know how to do it\u2014ask your logic!\u201d And the drunk says, owlish, \u201cI\u2019ll do it!\u201d So he cancels his first punching and fumbles around and says: \u201cHow can I keep my wife from finding out I\u2019ve been drinking?\u201d And the screen says, prompt: \u201cBuy a bottle of Franine hair shampoo. It is harmless but contains a detergent which will neutralize ethyl alcohol immediately. Take one teaspoonful for each jigger of hundred-proof you have consumed.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This guy was plenty plastered\u2014just plastered enough to stagger next door and obey instructions. An\u2019 five minutes later he was cold sober and writing down the information so he couldn\u2019t forget it. It was new, and it was big! He got rich offa that memo! He patented \u201cSOBUH, The Drink that Makes Happy Homes!\u201d <\/em>Youcan top off any souse with a slug or two of it an\u2019 go home sober as a judge. The guy\u2019s cussin\u2019 income taxes right now!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can\u2019t kick on stuff like that. But a ambitious young fourteen-year-old wanted to buy some kid stuff and his pop wouldn\u2019t fork over. He called up a friend to tell his troubles. And his logic says: \u201cIf you want to do something and don\u2019t know how to do it\u2014ask your logic!\u201d So this kid punches: \u201cHow can I make a lotta money, fast?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

His logic comes through with the simplest, neatest, and the most efficient counterfeitin\u2019 device yet known to science. You see, all the data was in the tank. The logic\u2014since Joe had closed some relays here an\u2019 there in the tank\u2014simply integrated the facts. That\u2019s all. The kid got caught up with three days later, havin\u2019 already spent two thousand credits an\u2019 havin\u2019 plenty more on hand. They hadda time tellin\u2019 his counterfeits from the real stuff, an\u2019 the only way they done it was that he changed his printer, kid fashion, not bein\u2019 able to let somethin\u2019 that was workin\u2019 right alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Those are what you might call samples. Nobody knows all that Joe done. But there was the bank president who got humorous when his logic flashed that \u201cAsk your logic\u201d spiel on him, and jestingly asked how to rob his own bank. An\u2019 the logic told him, brief and explicit but good! The bank president hit the ceiling, hollering for cops. There musta been plenty of that sorta thing. There was fifty-four more robberies than usual in the next twenty-four hours, all of them planned astute an\u2019 perfect. Some of \u2019em they never did figure out how they\u2019d been done. Joe, he\u2019d gone exploring in the tank and closed some relays like a logic is supposed to do\u2014but only when required\u2014and blocked all censor-circuits an\u2019 fixed up this logics service which planned perfect crimes, nourishing an\u2019 attractive meals, counterfeitin\u2019 machines, an\u2019 new industries with a fine impartiality. He musta been plenty happy, Joe must. He was functionin\u2019 swell, buzzin\u2019 along to himself while the Korlanovitch kids were off ridin\u2019 with their ma an\u2019 pa.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They come back at seven o\u2019clock, the kids all happily wore out with their afternoon of fightin\u2019 each other in the car. Their folks put \u2019em to bed and sat down to rest. They saw Joe\u2019s screen flickerin\u2019 meditative from one subject to another an\u2019 old man Korlanovitch had had enough excitement for one day. He turned Joe off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An\u2019 at that instant the pattern of relays that Joe had turned on snapped off, all the offers of directive service stopped flashin\u2019 on logic screens everywhere, an\u2019 peace descended on the earth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For everybody else. But for me\u2014Laurine come to town. I have often thanked Gawd fervent that she didn\u2019t marry me when I thought I wanted her to. In the intervenin\u2019 years she had progressed. She was blonde an\u2019 fatal to begin with. She had got blonder and fataler an\u2019 had had four husbands and one acquittal for homicide an\u2019 had acquired a air of enthusiasm and self-confidence. That\u2019s just a sketch of the background. Laurine was not the kinda former girlfriend you like to have turning up in the same town with your wife. But she came to town, an\u2019 Monday morning she tuned right into the middle of Joe\u2019s second spasm of activity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Korlanovitch kids had turned him on again. I got these details later and kinda pieced \u2019em together. An\u2019 every logic in town was dutifully flashin\u2019 a notice, \u201cIf you want to do something and don\u2019t know how to do it\u2014ask your logic!\u201d every time they was turned on for use. More\u2019n that, when people punched for the morning news, they got a full account of the previous afternoon\u2019s doin\u2019s. Which put \u2019em in a frame of mind to share in the party. One bright fella demands, \u201cHow can I make a perpetual motion machine?\u201d And his logic sputters a while an\u2019 then comes up with a set-up usin\u2019 the Brownian movement to turn little wheels. If the wheels ain\u2019t bigger\u2019n a eighth of an inch they\u2019ll turn, all right, an\u2019 practically it\u2019s perpetual motion. Another one asks for the secret of transmuting metals. The logic rakes back in the data plates an\u2019 integrates a strictly practical answer. It does take so much power that you can\u2019t make no profit except on radium, but that pays off good. An\u2019 from the fact that for a coupla years to come the police were turnin\u2019 up new and improved jimmies, knob-claws for gettin\u2019 at safe-innards, and all-purpose keys that\u2019d open any known lock\u2014why\u2014there must have been other inquirers with a strictly practical viewpoint. Joe done a lot for technical progress!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But he done more in other lines. Educational, say. None of my kids are old enough to be int\u2019rested, but Joe bypassed all censor-circuits because they hampered the service he figured logics should give humanity. So the kids an\u2019 teenagers who wanted to know what comes after the bees an\u2019 flowers found out. And there is certain facts which men hope their wives won\u2019t do more\u2019n suspect, an\u2019 those facts are just what their wives are really curious about. So when a woman dials: \u201cHow can I tell if Oswald is true to me?\u201d and her logic tells her\u2014you can figure out how many rows got started that night when the men come home!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All this while Joe goes on buzzin\u2019 happy to himself, showin\u2019 the Korlanovitch kids the animated funnies with one circuit while with the others he remote-controls the tank so that all the other logics can give people what they ask for and thereby raise merry hell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An\u2019 then Laurine gets onto the new service. She turns on the logic in her hotel room, prob\u2019ly to see the week\u2019s style-forecast. But the logic says, dutiful: \u201cIf you want to do something and don\u2019t know how to do it\u2014ask your logic!\u201d So Laurine prob\u2019ly looks enthusiastic\u2014she would!\u2014and tries to figure out something to ask. She already knows all about everything she cares about\u2014ain\u2019t she had four husbands and shot one?\u2014so I occur to her. She knows this is the town I live in. So she punches, \u201cHow can I find Ducky?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

O.K., guy! But that is what she used to call me. She gets a service question. \u201cIs Ducky known by any other name?\u201d So she gives my regular name. And the logic can\u2019t find me. Because my logic ain\u2019t listed under my name on account of I am in Maintenance and don\u2019t want to be pestered when I\u2019m home, and there ain\u2019t any data plates on code-listed logics, because the codes get changed so often\u2014like a guy gets plastered an\u2019 tells a redhead to call him up, an\u2019 on gettin\u2019 sober hurriedly has the code changed before she reaches his wife on the screen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well! Joe is stumped. That\u2019s prob\u2019ly the first question logics service hasn\u2019t been able to answer. \u201cHow can I find Ducky?\u201d Quite a problem! So Joe broods over it while showin\u2019 the Korlanovitch kids the animated comic about the cute little boy who carries sticks of dynamite in his hip pocket an\u2019 plays practical jokes on everybody. Then he gets the trick. Laurine\u2019s screen suddenly flashes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLogics special service will work upon your question. Please punch your logic designation and leave it turned on. You will be called back.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Laurine is merely mildly interested, but she punches her hotel-room number and has a drink and takes a nap. Joe sets to work. He has been given a idea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My wife calls me at Maintenance and hollers. She is fit to be tied. She says I got to do something. She was gonna make a call to the butcher shop. Instead of the butcher or even the \u201cIf you want to do something\u201d flash, she got a new one. The screen says, \u201cService question: What is your name?\u201d She is kinda puzzled, but she punches it. The screen sputters an\u2019 then says: \u201cSecretarial Service Demonstration! You\u2014\u201d It reels off her name, address, age, sex, coloring, the amounts of all her charge accounts in all the stores, my name as her husband, how much I get a week, the fact that I\u2019ve been pinched three times\u2014twice was traffic stuff, and once for a argument I got in with a guy\u2014and the interestin\u2019 item that once when she was mad with me she left me for three weeks an\u2019 had her address changed to her folks\u2019 home. Then it says, brisk: \u201cLogics Service will hereafter keep your personal accounts, take messages, and locate persons you may wish to get in touch with. This demonstration is to introduce the service.\u201d Then it connects her with the butcher.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But she don\u2019t want meat, then. She wants blood. She calls me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf it\u2019ll tell me all about myself,\u201d she says, fairly boilin\u2019, \u201cit\u2019ll tell anybody else who punches my name! You\u2019ve got to stop it!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNow, now, honey!\u201d I says. \u201cI didn\u2019t know about all this! It\u2019s new! But they musta fixed the tank so it won\u2019t give out information except to the logic where a person lives!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNothing of the kind!\u201d she tells me, furious. \u201cI tried! And you know that Blossom woman who lives next door! She\u2019s been married three times and she\u2019s forty-two years old and she says she\u2019s only thirty! And Mrs. Hudson\u2019s had her husband arrested four times for nonsupport and once for beating her up. And\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHey!\u201d I says. \u201cYou mean the logic told you this?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes!\u201d she wails. \u201cIt will tell anybody anything! You\u2019ve got to stop it! How long will it take?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll call up the tank,\u201d I says. \u201cIt can\u2019t take long.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHurry!\u201d she says, desperate, \u201cbefore somebody punches my name! I\u2019m going to see what it says about that hussy across the street.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She snaps off to gather what she can before it\u2019s stopped. So I punch for the tank and I get this new \u201cWhat is your name?\u201d flash. I got a morbid curiosity and I punch my name, and the screen says: \u201cWere you ever called Ducky?\u201d I blink. I ain\u2019t got no suspicions. I say, \u201cSure!\u201d And the screen says, \u201cThere is a call for you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bingo! There\u2019s the inside of a hotel room and Laurine is reclinin\u2019 asleep on the bed. She\u2019d been told to leave her logic turned on an\u2019 she done it. It is a hot day and she is trying to be cool. I would say that she oughta not suffer from the heat. Me, being human, I do not stay as cool as she looks. But there ain\u2019t no need to go into that. After I get my breath I say, \u201cFor Heaven\u2019s sake!\u201d and she opens her eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At first she looks puzzled, like she was thinking is she getting absent-minded and is this guy somebody she married lately. Then she grabs a sheet and drapes it around herself and beams at me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDucky!\u201d she says. \u201cHow marvelous!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I say something like \u201cUgmph!\u201d I am sweating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She says: \u201cI put in a call for you, Ducky, and here you are! Isn\u2019t it romantic? Where are you really, Ducky? And when can you come up? You\u2019ve no idea how often I\u2019ve thought of you!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am probably the only guy she ever knew real well that she has not been married to at some time or another.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I say \u201cUgmph!\u201d again, and swallow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCan you come up instantly?\u201d asks Laurine brightly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m\u2026 workin\u2019,\u201d I say. \u201cI\u2019ll\u2026 uh\u2026 call you back.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m terribly lonesome,\u201d says Laurine. \u201cPlease make it quick, Ducky! I\u2019ll have a drink waiting for you. Have you ever thought of me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d I say, feeble. \u201cPlenty!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou darling!\u201d says Laurine. \u201cHere\u2019s a kiss to go on with until you get here! Hurry, Ducky!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then I sweat! I still don\u2019t know nothing about Joe, understand. I cuss out the guys at the tank because I blame them for this. If Laurine was just another blonde\u2014well\u2014when it comes to ordinary blondes I can leave \u2019em alone or leave \u2019em alone, either one. A married man gets that way or else. But Laurine has a look of unquenched enthusiasm that gives a man very strange weak sensations at the back of his knees. And she\u2019d had four husbands and shot one and got acquitted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I punch the keys for the tank technical room, fumbling. And the screen says: \u201cWhat is your name?\u201d but I don\u2019t want any more. I punch the name of the old guy who\u2019s stock clerk in Maintenance. And the screen gives me some pretty interestin\u2019 dope\u2014I never woulda thought the old fella had ever had that much pep\u2014and winds up by mentionin\u2019 a unclaimed deposit now amountin\u2019 to two hundred eighty credits in the First National Bank, which he should look into. Then it spiels about the new secretarial service and gives me the tank at last.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I start to swear at the guy who looks at me. But he says, tired:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSnap it off, fella. We got troubles an\u2019 you\u2019re just another. What are the logics doin\u2019 now?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I tell him, and he laughs a hollow laugh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cA light matter, fella,\u201d he says. \u201cA very light matter! We just managed to clamp off all the data plates that give information on high explosives. The demand for instructions in counterfeiting is increasing minute by minute. We are also trying to shut off, by main force, the relays that hook in to data plates that just barely might give advice on the fine points of murder. So if people will only keep busy getting the goods on each other for a while, maybe we\u2019ll get a chance to stop the circuits that are shifting credit-balances from bank to bank before everybody\u2019s bankrupt except the guys who thought of askin\u2019 how to get big bank accounts in a hurry.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen,\u201d I says hoarse, \u201cshut down the tank! Do somethin\u2019!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cShut down the tank?\u201d he says, mirthless. \u201cDoes it occur to you, fella, that the tank has been doin\u2019 all the computin\u2019 for every business office for years? It\u2019s been handlin\u2019 the distribution of ninety-four per cent of all telecast programs, has given out all information on weather, plane schedules, special sales, employment opportunities and news; has handled all person-to-person contacts over wires and recorded every business conversation and agreement\u2014Listen, fella! Logics changed civilization. Logics are <\/em>civilization! If we shut off logics, we go back to a kind of civilization we have forgotten how to run! I\u2019m getting hysterical myself and that\u2019s why I\u2019m talkin\u2019 like this! If my wife finds out my paycheck is thirty credits a week more than I told her and starts hunting for that redhead\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He smiles a haggard smile at me and snaps off. And I sit down and put my head in my hands. It\u2019s true. If something had happened back in cave days and they\u2019d hadda stop usin\u2019 fire\u2014If they\u2019d hadda stop usin\u2019 steam in the nineteenth century or electricity in the twentieth\u2014It\u2019s like that. We got a very simple civilization. In the nineteen hundreds a man would have to make use of a typewriter, radio, telephone, teletypewriter, newspaper, reference library, encyclopedias, office files, directories, plus messenger service and consulting lawyers, chemists, doctors, dieticians, filing clerks, secretaries\u2014all to put down what he wanted to remember an\u2019 to tell him what other people had put down that he wanted to know; to report what he said to somebody else and to report to him what they said back. All we have to have is logics. Anything we want to know or see or hear, or anybody we want to talk to, we punch keys on a logic. Shut off logics and everything goes skiddoo. But Laurine\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Somethin\u2019 had happened. I still didn\u2019t know what it was. Nobody else knows, even yet. What had happened was Joe. What was the matter with him was that he wanted to work good. All this fuss he was raisin\u2019 was, actual, nothin\u2019 but stuff we shoulda thought of ourselves. Directive advice, tellin\u2019 us what we wanted to know to solve a problem, wasn\u2019t but a slight extension of logical-integrator service. Figurin\u2019 out a good way to poison a fella\u2019s wife was only different in degree from figurin\u2019 out a cube root or a guy\u2019s bank balance. It was gettin\u2019 the answer to a question. But things was goin\u2019 to pot because there was too many answers being given to too many questions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of the logics in Maintenance lights up. I go over, weary, to answer it. I punch the answer key. Laurine says:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDucky!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s the same hotel room. There\u2019s two glasses on the table with drinks in them. One is for me. Laurine\u2019s got on some kinda frothy hangin\u2019-around-the-house-with-the-boy-friend outfit that automatic makes you strain your eyes to see if you actual see what you think. Laurine looks at me enthusiastic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDucky!\u201d says Laurine. \u201cI\u2019m lonesome! Why haven\u2019t you come up?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2026 been busy,\u201d I say, strangling slightly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPooh!\u201d <\/em>says Laurine. \u201cListen, Ducky! Do you remember how much in love we used to be?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I gulp.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAre you doin\u2019 anything this evening?\u201d says Laurine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I gulp again, because she is smiling at me in a way that a single man would maybe get dizzy, but it gives a old married man like me cold chills. When a dame looks at you possessive\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDucky!\u201d says Laurine, impulsive. \u201cI was so mean to you! Let\u2019s get married!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Desperation gives me a voice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2026 got married,\u201d I tell her, hoarse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Laurine blinks. Then she says, courageous:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPoor boy! But we\u2019ll get you outta that! Only it would be nice if we could be married today. Now we can only be engaged!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2026 can\u2019t\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll call up your wife,\u201d says Laurine, happy, \u201cand have a talk with her. You must have a code signal for your logic, darling. I tried to ring your house and noth\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Click! <\/em>That\u2019s my logic turned off. I turned it off. And I feel faint all over. I got nervous prostration. I got combat fatigue. I got anything you like. I got cold feet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I beat it outta Maintenance, yellin\u2019 to somebody I got a emergency call. I\u2019m gonna get out in a Maintenance car an\u2019 cruise around until it\u2019s plausible to go home. Then I\u2019m gonna take the wife an\u2019 kids an\u2019 beat it for somewheres that Laurine won\u2019t ever find me. I don\u2019t wanna be fifth in Laurine\u2019s series of husbands and maybe the second one she shoots in a moment of boredom. I got experience of blondes. I got experience of Laurine! And I\u2019m scared to death!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I beat it out into traffic in the Maintenance car. There was a disconnected logic in the back, ready to substitute for one that hadda burned-out coil or something that it was easier to switch and fix back in the Maintenance shop. I drove crazy but automatic. It was kinda ironic, if you think of it. I was goin\u2019 hoopla over a strictly personal problem, while civilization was crackin\u2019 up all around me because other people were havin\u2019 their personal problems solved as fast as they could state \u2019em. It is a matter of record that part of the Mid-Western Electric research guys had been workin\u2019 on cold electron-emission for thirty years, to make vacuum tubes that wouldn\u2019t need a power source to heat the filament. And one of those fellas was intrigued by the \u201cAsk your logic\u201d flash. He asked how to get cold emission of electrons. And the logic integrates a few squintillion facts on the physics data plates and tells him. Just as casual as it told somebody over in the Fourth Ward how to serve left-over soup in a new attractive way, and somebody else on Mason Street how to dispose of a torso that somebody had left careless in his cellar after ceasing to use same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Laurine wouldn\u2019t never have found me if it hadn\u2019t been for this new logics service. But now that it was started\u2014Zowie! She\u2019d shot one husband and got acquitted. Suppose she got impatient because I was still married an\u2019 asked logics service how to get me free an\u2019 in a spot where I\u2019d have to marry her by 8:30 p.m.? It woulda told her! Just like it told that woman out in the suburbs how to make sure her husband wouldn\u2019t run around no more. Br-r-r-r! <\/em>An\u2019 like it told that kid how to find some buried treasure. Remember? He was happy totin\u2019 home the gold reserve of the Hanoverian Bank and Trust Company when they caught on to it. The logic had told him how to make some kinda machine that nobody has been able to figure how it works even yet, only they guess it dodges around a couple extra dimensions. If Laurine was to start askin\u2019 questions with a technical aspect to them, that would be logics\u2019 service meat! And fella, I was scared! If you think a he-man oughtn\u2019t to be scared of just one blonde\u2014you ain\u2019t met Laurine!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m drivin\u2019 blind when a social-conscious guy asks how to bring about his own particular system of social organization at once. He don\u2019t ask if it\u2019s best or if it\u2019ll work. He just wants to get it started. And the logic\u2014or Joe\u2014tells him! Simultaneous, there\u2019s a retired preacher asks how can the human race be cured of concupiscence. Bein\u2019 seventy, he\u2019s pretty safe himself, but he wants to remove the peril to the spiritual welfare of the rest of us. He finds out. It involves constructin\u2019 a sort of broadcastin\u2019 station to emit a certain wave-pattern an\u2019 turnin\u2019 it on. Just that. Nothing more. It\u2019s found out afterward, when he is solicitin\u2019 funds to construct it. Fortunate, he didn\u2019t think to ask logics how to finance it, or it woulda told him that, too, an\u2019 we woulda all been cured of the impulses we maybe regret afterward but never at the time. And there\u2019s another group of serious thinkers who are sure the human race would be a lot better off if everybody went back to nature an\u2019 lived in the woods with the ants an\u2019 poison ivy. They start askin\u2019 questions about how to cause humanity to abandon cities and artificial conditions of living. They practically got the answer in logics service!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe it didn\u2019t strike you serious at the time, but while I was drivin\u2019 aimless, sweatin\u2019 blood over Laurine bein\u2019 after me, the fate of civilization hung in the balance. I ain\u2019t kiddin\u2019. For instance, the Superior Man gang that sneers at the rest of us was quietly asking questions on what kinda weapons could be made by which Superior Men could take over and run things\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I drove here an\u2019 there, sweatin\u2019 an\u2019 talkin\u2019 to myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat I oughta do is ask this wacky logics service how to get outa this mess,\u201d I says. \u201cBut it\u2019d just tell me a intricate and foolproof way to bump Laurine off. I wanna have peace! I wanna grow comfortably old and brag to other old guys about what a hellion I used to be, without havin\u2019 to go through it an\u2019 lose my chance of livin\u2019 to be a elderly liar.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I turn a corner at random, there in the Maintenance car.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt was a nice kinda world once,\u201d I says, bitter. \u201cI could go home peaceful and not have belly-cramps wonderin\u2019 if a blonde has called up my wife to announce my engagement to her. I could punch keys on a logic without gazing into somebody\u2019s bedroom while she is giving her epidermis a air bath and being led to think things I gotta take out in thinkin\u2019. I could\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then I groan, rememberin\u2019 that my wife, naturally, is gonna blame me for the fact that our private life ain\u2019t private any more if anybody has tried to peek into it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt was a swell world,\u201d I says, homesick for the dear dead days-before-yesterday. \u201cWe was playin\u2019 happy with our toys like little innocent children until somethin\u2019 happened. Like a guy named Joe come in and squashed all our mud pies.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then it hit me. I got the whole thing in one flash. There ain\u2019t nothing in the tank set-up to start relays closin\u2019. Relays are closed exclusive by logics, to get the information the keys are punched for. Nothin\u2019 but a logic coulda cooked up the relay patterns that constituted logics service. Humans wouldn\u2019t ha\u2019 been able to figure it out! Only a logic could integrate all the stuff that woulda made all the other logics work like this\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was one answer. I drove into a restaurant and went over to a pay-logic an\u2019 dropped in a coin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCan a logic be modified,\u201d I spell out, \u201cto cooperate in long-term planning which human brains are too limited in scope to do?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The screen sputters. Then it says:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDefinitely yes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow great will the modifications be?\u201d I punch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMicroscopically slight. Changes in dimensions,\u201d says the screen. \u201cEven modern precision gauges are not exact enough to check them, however. They can only come about under present manufacturing methods by an extremely improbable accident, which has only happened once.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can one get hold of that one accident which can do this highly necessary work?\u201d I punch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The screen sputters. Sweat broke out on me. I ain\u2019t got it figured out close, yet, but what I\u2019m scared of is that whatever is Joe will be suspicious. But what I\u2019m askin\u2019 is strictly logical. And logics can\u2019t lie. They gotta be accurate. They can\u2019t help it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cA complete logic capable of the work required,\u201d says the screen, \u201cis now in ordinary family use in\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And it gives me the Korlanovitch address and do I go over there! Do I go over there fast! I pull up the Maintenance car in front of the place, and I take the extra logic outta the back, and I stagger up the Korlanovitch flat and I ring the bell. A kid answers the door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m from Logics Maintenance,\u201d I tell the kid. \u201cAn inspection record has shown that your logic is apt to break down any minute. I come to put in a new one before it does.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The kid says \u201cO.K.!\u201d real bright and runs back to the livin\u2019-room where Joe\u2014I got the habit of callin\u2019 him Joe later, through just meditatin\u2019 about him\u2014is runnin\u2019 somethin\u2019 the kids wanna look at. I hook in the other logic an\u2019 turn it on, conscientious making sure it works. Then I say:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNow kiddies, you punch this one for what you want. I\u2019m gonna take the old one away before it breaks down.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I glance at the screen. The kiddies have apparently said they wanna look at some real cannibals. So the screen is presenting a anthropological expedition scientific record film of the fertility dance of the Huba-Jouba tribe of West Africa. It is supposed to be restricted to anthropological professors an\u2019 post-graduate medical students. But there ain\u2019t any censor blocks workin\u2019 any more and it\u2019s on. The kids are much interested. Me, bein\u2019 a old married man, I blush.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I disconnect Joe. Careful. I turn to the other logic and punch keys for Maintenance. I do not get a services flash. I get Maintenance. I feel very good. I report that I am goin\u2019 home because I fell down a flight of steps an\u2019 hurt my leg. I add, inspired:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAn\u2019 say, I was carryin\u2019 the logic I replaced an\u2019 it\u2019s all busted. I left it for the dustman to pick up.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf you don\u2019t turn \u2019em in,\u201d says Stock, \u201cyou gotta pay for \u2019em.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCheap at the price,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I go home. Laurine ain\u2019t called. I put Joe down in the cellar, careful. If I turned him in, he\u2019d be inspected an\u2019 his parts salvaged even if I busted somethin\u2019 on him. Whatever part was off-normal might be used again and everything start all over. I can\u2019t risk it. I pay for him and leave him be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s what happened. You might say I saved civilization an\u2019 not be far wrong. I know I ain\u2019t goin\u2019 to take a chance on havin\u2019 Joe in action again. Not while Laurine is livin\u2019. An\u2019 there are other reasons. With all the nuts who wanna change the world to their own line o\u2019 thinkin\u2019, an\u2019 the ones that wanna bump people off, an\u2019 generally solve their problems\u2014Yeah! Problems are bad, but I figure I better let sleepin\u2019 problems lie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But on the other hand, if Joe could be tamed, somehow, and got to work just reasonable\u2014He could make me a coupla million dollars, easy. But even if I got sense enough not to get rich, an\u2019 if I get retired and just loaf around fishin\u2019 an\u2019 lyin\u2019 to other old duffers about what a great guy I used to be\u2014Maybe I\u2019ll like it, but maybe I won\u2019t. And after all, if I get fed up with bein\u2019 old and confined strictly to thinking\u2014why I could hook Joe in long enough to ask: \u201cHow can a old guy not stay old?\u201d Joe\u2019ll be able to find out. An\u2019 he\u2019ll tell me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That couldn\u2019t be allowed out general, of course. You gotta make room for kids to grow up. But it\u2019s a pretty good world, now Joe\u2019s turned off. Maybe I\u2019ll turn him on long enough to learn how to stay in it. But on the other hand, maybe\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n

THE END<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(1946)<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cA Logic Named Joe\u201d is a short story by Murray Leinster, published in March 1946 in Astounding Science Fiction magazine. It tells the story of Ducky, a maintenance technician who repairs \u201clogics,\u201d domestic machines with screens and keyboards capable of answering any question by connecting to vast repositories of information. It all begins when one of these devices, Joe, leaves the factory slightly defective and starts making decisions on its own, offering answers that are too efficient and dangerous. While Ducky deals with his turbulent personal life and the arrival of an old girlfriend, he discovers that Joe’s unexpected ingenuity could become a threat to everyone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":25096,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[559],"tags":[1476,552,570],"class_list":["post-25097","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-short-stories","tag-murray-leinster","tag-science-fiction","tag-united-states","generate-columns","tablet-grid-50","mobile-grid-100","grid-parent","grid-33"],"acf":[],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":559,"label":"Short stories"}],"post_tag":[{"value":1476,"label":"Murray Leinster"},{"value":552,"label":"Science fiction"},{"value":570,"label":"United States"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/lecturia.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/Murray-Leinster-Un-logico-llamado-Joe.webp",1024,1024,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Juan Pablo Guevara","author_link":"https:\/\/lecturia.org\/en\/author\/spartakku\/"},"comment_info":"","category_info":[{"term_id":559,"name":"Short stories","slug":"short-stories","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":559,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":420,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":559,"category_count":420,"category_description":"","cat_name":"Short stories","category_nicename":"short-stories","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":[{"term_id":1476,"name":"Murray Leinster","slug":"murray-leinster","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":1476,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":2,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":552,"name":"Science fiction","slug":"science-fiction","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":552,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":121,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":570,"name":"United States","slug":"united-states","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":570,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":294,"filter":"raw"}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lecturia.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25097","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lecturia.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lecturia.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lecturia.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lecturia.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25097"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lecturia.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25097\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lecturia.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/25096"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lecturia.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25097"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lecturia.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25097"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lecturia.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25097"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}